Road Way Etiquette

Over the past 6 months I have found myself behind the wheel a good portion, about 40 hours a week for some of it. Needless to say I put a shit load of miles on my car as well as having to throw an even bigger shit load of money into the mother-fucker. But with all these miles and aggravating hours under my belt I was able to pick up on some road way etiquette that I wanted to share with all you bloggarians.

1) Go the fucking proper speed on the highway. We all know that for most highways the speed limit is 65, but we are also aware that no one goes that speed on the highway, people tend to keep their cars somewhere between 70-85. So go with the fricken flow of traffic or don't use the highway. Unless there are special circumstances never fall under the appropriate speed, the circumstances could be things such as: bad weather, car problems, too much to drink, warrant for your arrest..... you get the idea. If any of these fall into your category then fine, but stay in the fucking right lane with the grandmas and truckers. (For the picture I couldn't really get one that depicted a car going slow so I just found what the slow kids drive in, hope you understand.)

2) Don't spontaneously brake. This is one of the worst, people that feel the need to constantly tap their brakes while driving. News flash if you take your foot off the gas every once in awhile your car slows down automatically. There is no need to keep jumping back and forth from gas to brake gas to break. Its bad for your car for one thing and the continuous flash of your red brake lights can really cause someone to see red, if you know what I mean. (think about the image in the picture of there wasn't a lot of cars in front of the yellow one and he was still braking.)

3) Bobbers and weavers. I respect the people that can strategically pull off this maneuver without coming off as a complete douche bag, but those who can't do this without causing the people around them to slam on brakes or swerve to avoid collision is ok with me. (It might not look like it but the picture is actually a retarded woman depicting the act of bobbing and weaving.)

4) People on cell phones. Ok ill admit I tend to talk on my cell phone every now and then but I a. Don't stay on long or b. usually use a handless set (and not a gay one). Im talking about those people that chat away on their phone oblivious to all other traffic around them, merging without looking, going 20 miles an hour, swerving all over. Im talking about those fucking bastards.

5) This next category is me stereotyping because we all know that there is always exceptions, but I say be politically correct there and what does that mean you ask? It means majority rules, so if the majority of your category is guilty of this you all have to pay. This all being said if you are old, or a woman, or asian stay off the fucking road, and if you are all of these things never even look at a car because you can't drive worth of shit.

Now these are just a handful of some of the problems on the road. I believe them to be a majority of the problems however, so try to abide by them. And try to make our roads once again safe for people to be on their marry way.